Many of us think that the other person is only kidding when we hear something drastic or shocking. We tend to obliterate our emotional reaction to these verbal bombs, ignoring the message and dismissing it as a mere joke. We don't want to believe they just said what they said. But the truth is that they did say it, and you had better hear it, or it may be too late.
Freud once said that there are no jokes, “only truth.” Those who say mean things or make cutting remarks are revealing how negatively they really feel towards you. With their shockingly hostile statements, they are actually telling you the truth. When they see the look of shock or anger cross your face, they immediately jump in with “I was only kidding.” In essence, they punch you out, you fall down, and by dismissing their own hostile words as a joke, they deprive you of your chance to fight back or retort.
These hostile words will continue to resonate, however, as will the actions. “I was only kidding” is also a form of sadistic behavior. A person sees a flaw or something he doesn't like and relishes it, enjoying your problem in order to make himself feel better. By making the shocking statement to you and verbally slapping you in your face, he tells you how negatively he really feels about you. We see many people do this to one another; we say that the victim who laughs it off is a “good sport.” But there is nothing sporty about being cut down and then smiling about what was said, especially if the words sting you. You need to put a stop to anyone joking with you at your expense.
Freud once said that there are no jokes, “only truth.” Those who say mean things or make cutting remarks are revealing how negatively they really feel towards you. With their shockingly hostile statements, they are actually telling you the truth. When they see the look of shock or anger cross your face, they immediately jump in with “I was only kidding.” In essence, they punch you out, you fall down, and by dismissing their own hostile words as a joke, they deprive you of your chance to fight back or retort.
These hostile words will continue to resonate, however, as will the actions. “I was only kidding” is also a form of sadistic behavior. A person sees a flaw or something he doesn't like and relishes it, enjoying your problem in order to make himself feel better. By making the shocking statement to you and verbally slapping you in your face, he tells you how negatively he really feels about you. We see many people do this to one another; we say that the victim who laughs it off is a “good sport.” But there is nothing sporty about being cut down and then smiling about what was said, especially if the words sting you. You need to put a stop to anyone joking with you at your expense.
No comments:
Post a Comment