If He Says He's a Jerk, Believe Him

When I was in college, the women in the dormitory had a rule. “If a guy tells you he's a jerk, believe him. He is!” One classmate argued with a well known jerk, insisting that he was really such a sweet and nice guy, dismissing his claims of being a jerk. But she finally had to agree with him when she saw him hitting on her roommate after he asked her to go steady with him.

The same holds true for women, of course, as well as for people with the opposite claim—those who tell you how great they are! Muhammad Ali said he was “the greatest”—he could “float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.” He certainly knew what he was saying: he was the greatest boxer of our time.

Even though you might think that they are braggarts or obnoxious, most people who tell you they are the best are telling you that they have plenty of confidence in themselves. Of course, you have to watch out for people who have delusions of grandeur, such as someone who says she is the best singer when she has never taken a lesson and sounds off key. She very well might be the best singer—in her shower, when nobody else is around. Thus, in addition to seeing the results, you do have to consider some history. Always listen very carefully to what people say about themselves. They are usually right.