Look Straight to the Eye

Remember how when you were growing up, you were told that you should look into a person’s eyes when you talk to him? You were told that only honest people can look you in the eye.
This is nonsense. In reality, research has shown that people who constantly look you in the eye without breaking their gaze might not be very honest at all; in fact, they might be lying to you.
You don’t need to gaze directly into a person’s eyes when you speak to her (unless of course you are in love with her). Doing so can be disconcerting and might indicate that you are taking a hostile or adversarial position against the person.
What you need is not just eye contact but “face contact.” If you don’t look at the person’s entire face along with specific components of the face, how are you going to read all the facial cues of your verbal adversary or potentially toxic opponent?
In order to give someone the impression that she has your undivided attention, follow these steps religiously:

1. Look at the person’s entire face for approximately two seconds.
2. Next, look at the person’s eyes for approximately two seconds.
3. Switch your gaze over to her nose and look at it for two seconds.
4. Now look at the person’s mouth for two seconds.
5. Go back to step 1 and look at the person’s entire face for approximately two seconds, continuing on to steps 2 to 4.

You need to repeat these steps for as long as you are speaking and listening to the person in front of you.
People will not think you look weird as they notice you looking at their eyes, then their nose, mouth, and entire face. They won’t even notice what you are doing. First, it’s only a two-second glance on each of the facial components. Second, the distance from their eyes to their nose to their lips is minimal. It’s not a huge football field you are looking at; it’s a person’s little face.
Most likely, in fact, people will perceive you as being really interested in them and in what they are saying.
This technique also tends to soften your gaze, which makes you appear more approachable, more compassionate, and less intense.