I Don’t Want You to Be Ahead of Me!

These are the ultimate competitors. Unlike those who are unconsciously jealous, these people are fully conscious of who you are and the threat they perceive you to be. They are overt in letting you know that they are the “king,” “queen,” or “star” and that you should stay in your place.
This is all too common among siblings and spouses. Often, spouses start out being in a subservient role in which they look up to their mate, who makes more money, is in a more powerful position, or is more attractive.
When the tables turn and the previously subservient spouse starts to assert himself or herself, when they begin to earn more money, or attain equal or more perceived power in the job world, all hell breaks loose. Loveydovey couples who previously cooed accolades and terms of endearment towards one another now roar at and demean one another in their attempts to gain the upper hand.
In my practice, I have seen this scenario repeatedly when people lose a lot of weight, have plastic surgery to improve their looks, or dress differently. People who were supposed to be your “friends” aren’t too friendly now that you look or feel better. They liked you in your previous role when they had (at least in their minds) more than you or felt they were better than you.
These people make life as miserable as possible for you by exhibiting a wide range of toxic behaviors. These include not acknowledging you, not speaking to you, or ignoring, minimizing, or openly taking issue with everything you say. They may mock you to others and badmouth you. By doing this, they attempt to gain the winning edge of other’s favorable perception of them as they perpetuate the unfavorable perception of you.
If this happens in a work environment in which the other person is in a more powerful position than you, there is unfortunately nothing you can do about it. You lose out in that situation, and you have to be the one to leave.
In the long run, this is perhaps for the better—who would want to be around such a toxic person anyway?