Sometimes, things are going along fine, and then all of a sudden you hear a word or a phrase that sets you off, starting a full-scale war. These words and phrases can cause long-buried negative emotions to resurface.
The following list gives some phrases you should never use. They are destined to trigger a negative response and put someone on the defensive. When a sentence or conversation begins with any of these phrases, the person has automatically tuned you out, is ready to attack, or is ready to verbally defend himself.
1. You should have ___
2. You never ___
3. Why don't you ever ___
4. Why didn't you ___
5. You'd better ___
6. I don't believe you.
7. That's not true.
8. Don't you ever ___
9. How could you ever ___
10. You make me ___
Instead, you might want to substitute the phrases listed here with the following phrases, which are destined to get the person to hear you and perhaps do what you want them to do:
1. Perhaps you could ___
2. I'd appreciate it if you would ___
3. It would be in your best interest if you would ___
4. Have you looked at it from this point of view?
5. I don't mean to contradict you, but have you also considered ___?
6. Perhaps we could both ___
7. May I suggest ___?
8. I would prefer _____
9. It hurts my feelings when you don't ___
10. Do you think it would be a good idea if ___?
11. I would never criticize you, but don't you think that perhaps__?
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