Guilt-Producing Accusers

Guilt-Producing Accusers make you wrong to make themselves right. But unlike the Verbal Nazis, who use anger in their attempt to control you, these people use guilt. They let you know that you made a big mistake and that you should feel bad about it and pay. Often the payment is groveling or saying you're sorry a million times. Still that may not appease them. They usually bring up your “crime” at some inopportune time as further ammunition as to why you made them feel so bad. They are perennial “victims” who feel that everyone is doing them wrong. They try to manipulate you by hitting one of your emotional weak points to make you feel just as bad as they do. They usually hold a grudge against you for a long time.

When you hear phrases like “You always…,” “You make me…,” “Why do you always…,” “What you did to me…,” or “Why don't you ever…,” then you know you have been exposed to someone whose aim is to make you responsible for something in their life that upsets them. They speak in absolute terms. They say just about anything and even resort to crying in order to get you to “feel bad for what you did.” It seems as though nothing you can say can appease them, as they tend to go on and on about the woe you “caused” them.