Sunday, October 31, 2010

Throwaways


What happens when the verbal abusers are the ones who pull the verbal plug? No matter how difficult, even impossible, the communication was between both of you, nobody likes to be tossed away like a dead raccoon.
Just know that you are probably feeling worse than they are right now. The rejected always feels worse than the rejecter.
Along with everyone else, I can sit here and give you words of sympathy. Even though we try to say sympathetic words and phrases in our attempts to comfort you, you’ll think we don’t know what we’re talking about. You’ll wish we’d just shut up, listen to your sob story, dry your tears, and wear a shirt, blouse, or sweater that feels soft, so that when you cry on our shoulder your face will feel more comfortable and less scratchy.
The following “Talk Back!” section lists some phrases of comfort usually said to a rejectee, and what the rejectee really thinks about your stupid advice.
None of these words help you feel better. Instead, they make you feel worse! Just know, you will feel bad, very bad, horribly bad for a while. But then, after you are able to hold some food down, sleep, stop crying and have an occasional smile on your face—when you have spent time away from the rejecter—you will see something you never saw before! He did you a favor.
If he left you and you were a verbal tormentor, you learned something very valuable. Don’t mess with people’s self-respect. Talk to them like human beings with the dignity they deserve, or you won’t be talking to anybody!
If, on the other hand, he left you and he was the verbal tormentor, he probably left you for a number of reasons that most likely have nothing to do with you!

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