Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy

In describing the strategy of Verbally Mirroring the Foe, many of you might argue, “I couldn't do what they did. I would never think of stooping to their level.” I understand your point. However, guess what? If you don't
stoop to their level, how are they going to hear you? How are they going to know when their verbal behavior is unacceptable?
By stooping to their level, you are forcing your verbal perpetrators to see their ugly words reflected back to them. You are, in essence, their “verbal mirror.”
One of my attorney clients was negotiating a deal over the telephone with another attorney who was verbally hostile and abusive. My client could not get a word in edgewise as the verbally toxic adversary hogged up the entire conversation, shouting obscenities, and screaming and yelling. All of a sudden, my client pulled the phone away from his ear and began to bark like a dog. Stunned, the abusive adversary stopped talking and asked “What did you say?” My client continued to bark like a dog. He then stopped and said, “That is exactly what you sound like—a barking dog. Now Mr. Jones, you and I are both highly qualified, well-trained, civilized professionals. Let's act that way and speak intelligently and quietly so that we can each listen carefully to what the other is trying to say and come to an amicable resolution.”
My client merely gave Mr. Jones a glimpse of himself in the verbal mirror. He certainly didn't like what he heard. It was obvious that Mr. Jones had no clue that he sounded like a barking dog when he negotiated. But he certainly became aware of it and has subsequently made it a point to listen and not “bark” at other attorneys— at least not as much as before!
A taste of their own verbally toxic medicine is often all they need to make them aware of how poorly they come across to others. In fact, because they often don't even realize it, look at using this strategy as doing them a favor!