Verbally Mirroring the Foe Strategy

In describing the strategy of Verbally Mirroring the Foe, many of you might argue, “I couldn't do what they did. I would never think of stooping to their level.” I understand your point. However, guess what? If you don't
stoop to their level, how are they going to hear you? How are they going to know when their verbal behavior is unacceptable?
By stooping to their level, you are forcing your verbal perpetrators to see their ugly words reflected back to them. You are, in essence, their “verbal mirror.”
One of my attorney clients was negotiating a deal over the telephone with another attorney who was verbally hostile and abusive. My client could not get a word in edgewise as the verbally toxic adversary hogged up the entire conversation, shouting obscenities, and screaming and yelling. All of a sudden, my client pulled the phone away from his ear and began to bark like a dog. Stunned, the abusive adversary stopped talking and asked “What did you say?” My client continued to bark like a dog. He then stopped and said, “That is exactly what you sound like—a barking dog. Now Mr. Jones, you and I are both highly qualified, well-trained, civilized professionals. Let's act that way and speak intelligently and quietly so that we can each listen carefully to what the other is trying to say and come to an amicable resolution.”
My client merely gave Mr. Jones a glimpse of himself in the verbal mirror. He certainly didn't like what he heard. It was obvious that Mr. Jones had no clue that he sounded like a barking dog when he negotiated. But he certainly became aware of it and has subsequently made it a point to listen and not “bark” at other attorneys— at least not as much as before!
A taste of their own verbally toxic medicine is often all they need to make them aware of how poorly they come across to others. In fact, because they often don't even realize it, look at using this strategy as doing them a favor!

Keep Your Cool

If your livelihood has been threatened, never resort to physical violence or perpetrating physical harm against someone. Reread this section. Other alternatives are more effective and more productive! So read on and you will discover what these alternatives are and how to use them.
In light of the repeated school killings in which young students (children) have shot their peers to death, threats should always be taken seriously, whether or not they are just made in the moment of anger. We have, unfortunately, seen the aftermath of what happens when threats are not heeded.
The moral of all of this is that, no matter how angry you get, never threaten anyone—not even in jest. You are risking being taken to jail. You are risking the financial ruin of having to go through a lengthy court battle. And most important of all, you are risking your life!

Never Threaten One's Basic Needs!

“You'll never work in this town again.” “I will ruin you.” “I will make sure everyone knows about this.” “I will get you fired.” “I will sue you for everything you've got.” “When I'm done with you, you won't have a penny left to your name.” “You'll be living on the streets.” “I'll make sure you starve to death.”
These types of verbal threats are often made in anger. People making these threats don't even think twice about the implications of what they have said. They just know that they are hopping mad and that these threats are the best way for them to let off steam. They have no clue about the impact of their words or the possible resounding consequences.
It is extremely dangerous to threaten people by holding the threat of their basic existence up to them. In the classic book The Hierarchy of Needs, the famed psychologist Abraham Maslow discusses human being's basic need for air, food, and shelter.
When these basic needs are threatened, the consequences can be devastating. Biologically, it triggers basic survival instincts, such as the fight-or-flight mechanism. When this happens, the results are not pretty; they are pretty devastating. Through the ages, people have been killed for making verbal threats against one's basic needs.
To repeat: Never, under any circumstances, make threats to people, especially when it pertains to their livelihood! Tempers can flare to the point that they become out of control, and the results can be deleterious.