This strategy, which I personally devised for my clients, is one of the best techniques to be used in relationship therapy. It's obvious that the couple loves one another, but they keep fighting and bickering over stupid and ridiculous things. They end up saying mean and ugly things to one another that devastate both of them. As you learned earlier in the blog, words stick—especially ugly words! So, I tell the couple, as difficult as it may seem, as soon as they start this stupid bickering, one has to immediately grab the other's hand and hold it and continue to bicker.
They usually start laughing and stop fighting, becoming softer and more affectionate with one another. As they continue to hold hands, each one often starts to communicate his or her side of the issue in a calm and loving manner, so that each mate is able to really hear what the other has to say.
It's a very powerful tool for effective communication between couples as well as friends.
By the way, the one who takes the other's hand first is the one who has the control over the situation.
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