What Men Need to Do

1. Stop making commands. Make requests instead.
2. Always use the words “please” and “thank you” whenever making a request. Use terms of politeness as often as possible.
3. Use more psychological state verbs to express how you are feeling.
4. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help as soon as possible.
5. Don’t use sarcastic or cutting humor.
6. Don’t interrupt.
7. Don’t take up so much room physically.
8. Have more enthusiasm in your voice. Don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve. Instead, wear them on your vocal tones.
9. Don’t lecture someone—have a dialogue and not a monologue.
10. Look at a person face to face when speaking.
11. Use more descriptive adjectives.
12. Don’t frown when listening.
13. Show more emotional reaction in your face when you speak and listen.
14. Open up more—don’t use one-word responses to answer questions.
15. Don’t keep changing topics midstream in a conversation a woman brings up.
16. Stop fidgeting and rocking back and forth.
17. Disclose more personal information about yourself.
18. Don’t point your finger at people when talking to them, especially when you want to express a point.
19. Apologize immediately if you have done something wrong.

See What I Mean?

In looking at the differences in the preceding section, it is no wonder that men and women are always at one another’s throats. Little wonder that these misinterpretations of the male and female language result in explosions of tempers and devastation of feelings. It is sad and, when you think about it, also rather amusing. If we had the key to unlock the box of mysteries about how the opposite sex communicates, there would be less divorce, fewer sexual harassment suits, and much less ill will between one another. Now you have some of the tools right at your fingertips.
The next section lists several easy steps men can take to immediately improve their relationships with women, and women with men. I have chosen only some points for each sex, since they represent the differences leading to the most common misunderstandings.
Note than I am not trying to turn men into women and women into men! I am just giving you some things to do if you want to modify your communication patterns when you deem it necessary, in order to get along much better. Of course, these are only suggestions, but rest assured that if you do employ them, you might see some amazing and instant results.

Basic Female 101

Before a man thinks that the woman is driving him nuts or just having PMS, here are some common communication actions that typify women’s communication patterns. Knowing about them can save the male a lot of unnecessary grief and nurture a more positive and upbeat—and in turn, healthy—relationship.
Body Language:

1. Assuming a more forward position than men when sitting or listening, and leaning forward. Perception:
2. caring a lot about what is said; extreme interest.
3. Having a weaker handshake. Perception: being weak and powerless.
4. Sitting closer to men. Perception: the woman really likes the man.
5. Taking up less physical space, and sitting with arms and legs towards the body. Perception: being inhibited and submissive.
6. Sitting directly in front of a man, and having forward face-to-face contact.

Perception: being extremely interested in the man or being forward. It can also be misconstrued as an uncomfortably confrontational act.
Face Language:

1. 1. Nodding head “yes” even when not in agreement. Perception: Wanting to be liked and accepted.
2. 2. Lowering their head during every negative confrontation. Perception: being weak and submissive.
3. Providing more animated facial expressions during conversation. Perception: being overly emotional.
4. Eyes facing the person directly when speaking.
   

Perception: being forward or even invasive.

Speech and Voice Patterns:

1. Allowing more interruptions. Perception: being weak.
2. Ending sentences with a rising pitch, adding a tag ending to a declarative statement, or asking a question when it calls for making a statement (for example, “It’s a nice day?” or “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?”). Perception: being uncertain, weak, not powerful, and not in control.
3. Using more intensifiers such as “very,” “really,” and “much.” Perception: being overly effusive and exaggerating, and being more emotional.
4. Saying more words per sentence or thought. Getting very detailed and taking a long time to get to the point. Perception: being unprofessional, wasting time, being thoughtless, scattered, and frivolous (this usually creates the reaction of impatience).
5. Often having voices that are too high, breathy, and little girl-sounding. Perception: being a lightweight, less bright.
   

Communication Patterns:

1. Tending to take rejection more personally. Perception: being overly sensitive.
2. Not laughing at or responding favorably to practical joke and cutting sarcastic humor. Perception: having no sense of humor.
3. Trying to match troubles by relating similar experiences. Perception: competing with the man or trying to top him, and not listening to or caring about what he says.
4. Confronting issues and situations more than a man would. Perception: being nagging or harping on the past (this often makes the man feel angry and defensive).
5. Censoring thoughts less than men and communicating more through stream-of-consciousness. Perception: being ditsy, spacey, or flighty.