Basic Male Conversation 101

This section lists typical male communication patterns—some of the key things men communicate and how they may be misinterpreted. A woman's knowledge of these patterns will help her to realize that men's seemingly rude, distant, or obnoxious behavior is not that at all. In their innocence, men are just speaking “male.”

Body Language:
1. Taking up more space. Perception: they are hogging space and trying to take over.
2. Sitting further away. Perception: they don't like the woman.
3. Gesturing with their fingers, often pointing their finger. Perception: they are admonishing you.
4. Fidgeting and shifting their bodies more than women do. Perception: they are not interested or are anxious to leave the situation. judgmental.

Facial Language:
1. Cocking their head to the side and looking at the person at an angle while listening to them. Perception: they are being judgmental or disinterested.
2. Frowning and squinting when listening. Perception: disapproval.
3. Using little eye contact in positive interaction. Perception: they are disinterested and distant.
4. Providing fewer facial expressions and fewer reactions than women when listening.
5. Avoiding eye contact and not looking directly at the other person. Perception: disinterest or dislike.

Speech and Voice Patterns:
1. Interrupting and allowing fewer interruptions from others. Perception: they regard the other person as unimportant or not knowledgeable.
2. Using less intonation or vocal inflection. Perception: disinterest, disapproval, apathy, and dislike for the
other person.
3. Allowing more silence during conversation lulls. Perception: they have nothing more to say and want to end the conversation.
4. Giving more command terms. Perception: they are acting with hostility.
5. Using fewer emotional state verbs (such as “I feel,” “I hope,” “I love”).

Communication:
1. Teasing more, playing practical jokes, and using sarcasm as humor (often making a joke out of “sensitive” issues). Perception: acting in a hostile way and not liking the woman.
2. Apologizing less often after an argument. Perception: being stubborn and uncaring.
3. Liking to hear accolades about themselves and talking more about their accomplishments.
4. Confronting issues less. Perception: being uncaring and disinterested and purposely hurting the woman.
5. Disclosing less personal information. Perception: they are hiding something, being dishonest (possibly cheating).
6. Invading one's personal space more than women do. Perception: being obnoxious and trying to be intimidating.

He Says—She Thinks! She Says—He Thinks!

Because there is such confusion in the way men and women speak to one another, a man might innocently say something to a woman that causes her to fly off the handle. In turn, she might say something that aggravates him. Both of these people have no clue why the other has gotten so mad at what they said. The man often thinks the woman might just be going through PMS. The woman, on the other hand, thinks that the guy is just being a jerk. “Who is right? Who is wrong? What is going on here? First of all, nobody is right! And nobody is wrong! In fact, they are both right!
The man is just talking “male,” while the woman is understanding what he says in “female.” Conversely, the woman speaks “female” while the man hears in “male.” It’s as simple as that!