Fantasy Strategy—an Alternative to Physical Violence.

If you are so angry that you can spit nails, or you feel as though steam is coming out of you ears and you are thinking that no matter what happens to you, you're gonna do someone in—don't! Instead, use this strategy immediately! Fantasize about what you'd like to do to them. See it in your mind, feel it, hear it. Just don't do it in real life! I can't give you any specific ideas here in terms of what to imagine. These fantasies must come out of your own mind and your own anger. If they are gruesome, run with it mentally. As you see the images in your mind, you will be surprised at how much better you will feel and how much less enraged, even relieved. You will feel like you have released the pressure-cooker tension from your physical being.
Another alternative is to watch the fights on television or even to go and see a boxing match. As the winner is punching the loser with repeated blows, picture your enemy's face being pummeled by the winner. Don't think this is weird. We have all unknowingly used the Vicarious Fantasy Technique when we watch our favorite superstar heroes beat the living daylights out of someone on screen. Next time you're watching one of these films, just think of what a thrill it would be to see the hero doing what he's doing on screen to your adversary. It's a lot more acceptable than living this scenario in real life.

Never, Ever Use Physical Violence!

Your hands, legs, body, and teeth are completely off limits! The only time you can use your teeth is when they are used in conjunction with your tongue and your lips and allow you to speak to someone—never to physically hurt someone.
No matter how angry you get at what someone said, the consequences of physical violence are not worth enduring. There is no excuse whatsoever for physical violence. If you feel as though you are coming close to beating someone up over what they said, please don't do it! Before you get ready to do it, take your breath in, hold it, and blow, blow, blow all your air out instead of blowing someone's brains out!

Keep It Above the Belt

Sometimes, the public’s rage at the fighter’s injustices to the other fighter become so inflamed that the fighting extends to those outside the boxing arena. Look what happened at Madison Square Garden when fighter Riddick Bowe was repeatedly punched below the belt by Ron Goletta, a known dirty fighter who was warned about his tactics. Each time Bowe was hit in the groin, the fans felt his pain too. After Goletta was finally disqualified, all hell broke loose, literally. Fans mobbed the ring. Chairs were flying. Managers and fight personnel were beaten. Innocent bystanders were physically flung out of the ring. Countless fights broke out in the stands, with stranger pummeling stranger. People were injured, people were arrested, people were jailed, all because of dirty fighting—literally being hit below the belt.
Hitting someone below the belt is not confined to the boxing ring. It happens on a daily basis in people’s homes, offices, at social gatherings, and even on the street. We know all too well about hitting below the belt in communities that suffer extreme gang violence. A verbal insult about someone’s mother or girlfriend, which is definitely hitting below the verbal belt, can result in the insulator being killed.
In anger, people bring up things you never knew about (for example, your husband’s three-year affair, communicated to you in hostile, angry terms). They bring up things you thought they never knew about (the time you went to jail for stealing a car when you were 18, for instance) They bring up and uncover horrible things that happened in your life where only extensive psychotherapy or religious devotion have allowed you to cope with the guilt and live one day at a time (such as when your girlfriend got killed in a motorcycle accident, while you were driving).
These verbal cuts are the deepest and hurt the most. In many cases, these cuts will never heal. There is too much resulting pain. There is so much blood coming from the verbal wound that your relationship is gone forever—dead!
Even if someone is a dirt bag of a fighter, you don’t have to join in and follow suit. It’s not going to make you feel any better throwing verbal bombs at him. He has to live with the devastation he has done to you. Don’t add insult to your injury and have the additional burden of living with the emotional devastation you caused them. Take solace in knowing that what goes around usually comes around.